hopefully back on track
wednesday: work, rough day, ms hot/cold person got on my nerve again [oh she does regularly], long day at work [sigh..], prepared for tomorrow's exhibit, went home, dinner, lounged, did laundry [finished i think], talked with him, slept.
thursday: start 6:30am.. took my bath, readied for work on a supposed day-off, :/
drove to the jacksonville chamber of commerce small business center at northside, golfair road for the exhibit, business expo that is. turned out it was not the venue for the expo. talking about 1 hour down the drain. got lost going back south, woke up joe and he gave me directions. [he's my hero] turned out venue was the morocco shrine center just along st. john's bluff. got there too early. waited, talked to joe. he kept me sane. exhibit started. i aprpeciated how time flew by. almost 8pm, yey! packed up. was hungry, went to st. john's town center. bought a top at express to "de-stress". went home, had sarap dinner. talked with my hero. and talked about anonynous person who seems to be trying so hard to be amusing. it pissed him. uh oh... [he'll beat you up he told me..] , fell asleep. woke up around 6 am (that's friday actually) , oh my gosh, he was still on the phone. something about that was soo sweet. ohh.. :) went back to sleep. got out of bed around nine.
friday: work, a better day actually. first time to wear a skirt to work. oh well, with ms. hot/cold's demands to "dressing better".. [whatever]. the workplace is not just a reason enough to dress up you know, hellur? unlike in my previous job, i did dress up, way up. i miss it. let's see. ms. hot/cold is becoming an antagonist. oh well...
happy birthday magarette. i'll see you later at your suprise dinner thing. im sorry i'll be late, as always.. :/
oh well, it is a great day today. things are starting to slow down to my pace - at least. weekend's almost here. more sunny days please! :)
... once in this lifetime
monday, usual stuff at work
went home
went to dave and buster's with katrice (as promised) and charlotte
met up with joseph at dave & buster's
played some
he drove us home
talked outside the house
went inside the car coz it started to get cold
was concerned that family will come home soon
said bye
was about to got out
boom! my family pulled in the curb
uh oh...
introduced him to lolo and lola
bid bye
he left
talked on the phone
slept
... once in this lifetime
airport road & westside take 3
sunday morning. the chilly wind started to bite my skin again. the sun stayed the whole day up until around 8pm. 11:50pm, just got home.
rewind: got up, drove my sister to work, then back home. picked kate up, went to airport road (way north) to pick up the van we rented. when we got there, they had some issues so we resorted to going all the way back to kernan, pick my lolo up and return to the car rental along airport road. hope you get the picture. got a minivan, $1,500 chiching!
ms. hot/cold person called for me, as lalot said. so i had to call her back. was supposed to be at work at 1pm but then, for obvious reasons of not being able to be at two places at one time, i was not at the office until 3:30. bad, very bad but at least good thing no one was there when i got there that helped me settle down. [talk about looooonngg drives this week. ehem, calling mr. wonderful ]
anyway, so we got the van. went to work. after work [imagine that work on weekends..grrr] picked my family [using the "mommy" van as my brothers fondly call it] , went to hear mass. drove to westside for a dinner get-together. now at home.
got to go. he's calling. got to talk, miss him...
... once in this lifetime
crash
picked up my sister and brothers from the airport, went with charlotte. good thing i had some sense of direction tonight, as a fast becoming loyalist to mapquest, heehee.. oh well, but something drastic almost happened. almost got into an accident. trying to get into an exit, i didnt realize it was that sharp. i tried slowing down but it was my bad,i think i was going faster than i should be. good thing my brakes worked. could have there been no angels with us, the car would have turned over. it scared the hell out of me, and charlotte's too. it was the scariest thing. it was the closest thing i have been to any car accident, would have been my first ever.
suddenly, i remembered how i was thinking about my death. i remember when we were talking about it over lunch last thurs. that i'd rather have a sudden death than a slow one. that could have been my sudden death. it was creepy. i was shaking until we reached the airport. the drive from my house should take 33mins, i got it in 23 mins. so you get the pic.
there goes one not very good thing for tonight.
having my brothers and sister kate back = noisy fun! it is great to have them back here. i missed them. they were saying it could have been wayyyy better if charlotte and i went with them. you know, to get all crazy. in another time, definitely! :)
i got a boyleg for a pasalubong!
was supposed to go to dave & buster's tonight, did not push through because of their flight schedule. oh well, again, in another time. too bad, i might miss the kayaking too. pick the van in the morning, then go to work in the afternoon. my schedule is very inconsiderate. im sorry my friends.
oh well, thoughts in my head, things i wish about, things i keep my fingers crossed for... keep playing in my head. midnight's here again, im wide awake. tomorrow will hurt my eyes again. i pray the sun will warm my skin tomorrow just as it did today. it didnt grow tired until i was ready for the night's breeze. i'm looking out of the window. oh well, tomorrow's another day... i missed him today.
... once in this lifetime
myth
Let me tell you about the Myth of Love...
It was said that before, in the origin of times, there were threesexes; male, female, and androgene. Original humans do not look like how we humans look today. Humans before were said to be twice of each person now, with two heads, two pair of eyes, two pair of lips, four hands, four feet, two bodies, two hearts, and of course two genitals.
Then, if the person has two vaginas, that is a female. If the person has two penis, that is a male person. If the person has both the two different organs, a vagina and a penis, then that person is an androgene.
They said that androgenes were the most beautiful people among all because they have mostly the best features and characteristics of both the male and the female.
Because these people dream of being in heaven, even if they already have the heavens in their selves, they want to experience it even for just a little while. And so they climbed to Mount Olympus.Zeus got furious upon seeing the people going up the mountain. He said, "How dare these immortals climb our wondrous world? And to think I'd let them experience it! Especially now that they do not cherish of what they have!!! He got so mad that he used his lightning bolts to cut each person in half to make them weaker enough so as not to continue on climbing.
The God of Healers healed the wounds of the people cut in half. And from then on, everyone started to look out for their pair the moment they got down from the mountains.
This is why there is the term soulmates. Their bodies, in which their souls rest, used to be one.Therefore soulmates.
They said that this is also the reason why there are people who love their same sex, the gays and lesbians. They are the males and females before. And this also explains why gays are creative, because they are both males before, they tend to concentrate on what they lack. The same thing for lesbians. Because they are both females before, they tend to be strong as not to be underestimated.
Androgenes would be equal to male and female lovers. That is why nowadays these couples are the most acceptable, stronger, and the most beautiful among all partners, they have the strength of both males and females.
Lovers nowadays, whether gay, lesbian, or male and female couples, are indestructible because they are the pairs before. They are really meant to be.
This myth also explains why it is natural for people to just realize the value of the people they love only when they are about to be gone or are already gone. Because this happened even before, and we become weaker without our pair. We realize that we need them, truly love them, and that together, we are stronger.
This is also why we kiss. We always try to find the lips wherein ours will fit well.
This is also why we like to hold hands with the one we love, to find out if the spaces between their fingers are the spaces where ours used to lay.
And finally, this is why we always find someone to love. We always want to complete ourselves... Because we need the strength of the one we love in order to go on with the hardships of life... we need to fill in a missing space... and most of all, because we used to have two hearts. We need to find the other one.
it makes sense...
dream
oh remember when i was telling you about my not having a dream for quite awhile now?i had one last night, im glad. finally..... once in this lifetime
westside take 2
thursday.. woke up, took a bath. was torn between wearing the long white polo and the black- cardigan-business attire-looking thing . i settled with the smart-looking white long sleeve top. got dressed, readied and headed off to assisi road. picked him up. his mom was working on the garden. gave her a morning beso. she has always been sweet to me. he found me knocking on the front door while he went out though the back door. we were ready. he drove - again. [thank you.. :) ] headed for the interview.
oh my gosh, it was sooooooo far. im so glad he went with me. could have i done it alone, more than sure i'd be lost - as in. for some reason.i did not want to take the chance because i would not want to get lost specially that i am scheduled for an interview. im sure it is not a very good thing to be late for such appointment. i was excited and all that. it was a company very well suited for my course, well, much to my knowledge. visited their website, very impressive. they are into international market research. a little too technical if we get into details. we were there 30 mins before 11. we did not get out the car until 5 mins before eleven. it was a hot day yesterday. and by the way, i knew he was not feeling very well but he still came. i kind of felt guilty that i had to drag him to go with me and have him drive. [ i feel more secure having him drive]. ya, going back, really hot day. the office was not what i actually expected. pretty small and not too flashy on the outside. seems like they just moved there or something but definitely clean and organized. then came the president/ceo/manager. nice man, funny. well, he asked about him, like what he do. i told him he is leaving for the air force soon. he said good for him. ya, was proud. the interview turned into a panel type. he had 3 of his staff sit with us as we discussed the work and essence of the job. overall i know i did well. i was not scared, nervous or whatever. pretty steady and i know i talked sense that time. i knew my lola was praying for me. fast forward - the meeting took a little more than an hour. i did not notice he left the office lobby. it grew hot inside. parting words.. i will reflect on this opportunity that they are offering and i let them know what i think. after which both parties are considered (theirs and mine), we will all make the decision. well, if you ask me now, i'd really love that job. very challenging and i know they were trying to put in front of me all the possible issues and other challenges that will come along the way. they were trying to see if i got discouraged like all the other people who came before me. oh well, i was not. i was intrigued even more. career-wise, it is a good thing. and my lolo agrees. thing is, it is really a very loooooong drive that i have to deal with everyday i guess if i want to take it. let's see... im thinking about it.
lunch at copeland's. nice place. and i like the food too. the cheesecake was yummy. the only dessert that we order everywhere we go is cheesecake. we are trying to grade every cheesecake there is. fun thing actually, i enjoy it. we were stuffed. we were both tired, like he was not feeling so well, and me sleepy. we still decided to go around. nice stop, st. john's town center. we have not really gone to every store. we will take it one strip at a time. got myself a top as a reward for doing good on the interview. he liked the top i got. almost 3, we had to leave.
at his house, i had some time to talk with his parents. [im sorry i kept you]. it was fun, they talked about their family, experiences, situations. and how sweet when they asked how my interview went. [ohhh..] they have always been nice to me. almost 4, we got to really leave.
we did leave. talked while driving. hmm sweet :)... he had to attend an air force meeting. oh well, his meeting did not last long.
got home, talked with my lolo and lola. told them what happened during the interview. they wanted so bad to go out. we went to home depot, then at bj's (the usual grocery - they love that!) and then walmart. it is really cute that my lolo and lola wanted to know if mc donalds has the same chicken here compared to what they have back home in manila. not the same. they said manila's was wayyyy better. i agree. oh, since it is just the three of us, i had to carry and take care of all the lifting. imagine, 5 gallon-water, and gas tank?? managed to do that. i was growing tired..
then got home (which i hoped would really be i got home), then again no.. we were invited to go to mvp to meet up with friends. it has been a loooonnnngggg day for me, i was tired and i know even if i have gone, i will just be drag for the night, i decided to pass it up. so, i drove charlotte, with my cute sidekick, katrice, my youngest sister. we wanted starbucks but then it's closed na. it was okay, next time we go out, i owe katrice starbucks. talk about resting? no, i was doing the laundry while i was waiting to pick her up while talking with him on the phone. so many things going on ey? eventually i know he was to retire, he's sick and he had to go with his dad tomorrow early morning. good night for us then. got charlotte, headed home.
then, cleaned up myself and tucked myself to bed. i dozed off...
it was a looonnnngggg day.... a lot of things happened since morning. i realized i have gone to the westside twice as for him, he went there 4 times i think for this week. talk about long drives. im glad i had him with me. Hug!!! :)
friday, woke up. slept ok but as i write now, i still feel like i need more sleep.. snooze... oh my, got my first household meeting tonight. rewind, morning, woke up, got ready for work. did my thing in the office (worry about money and clients that is). gave in to eating choco chips cookies. [they were good...] im still tired. my head was pounding inconsistently today. drove my sis home from work. went to the household meeting. my first time. i was late but i think i did not miss out so much. met new people - well not really really new, i have seen and met most of them but was able to chat more this time. seemed like a lot of people heard about me. hmm, she said all of them were good.
for some reason, anne and bel mentioned i seemed kind of low last night (by the way, it is already saturday morning as i write now, i started this post friday night). hmm, must be the long day and few unknown reasons to myself...
did some dancing. you know who i danced with. i would say he was good. well, he must have danced it several times before. as long as he knows it and he'll lead, i'll be fine. it will be easier for me to learn it eventually - on another day when im not too low.
oh well, saturday morning, at work. i dont think i'll be able to attend the baptism. my sister and brothers will be here in jax 10pm from their cancun trip. lot of people again at home.
i hope today will be a sunny day. pls don't rain. the sky is blue as i stare at it. the sun is a little shy today. i need some sunshine to warm my skin. there you are... lift my weary self.
i seek retreat from this trance my ears craved for. i miss us having dinner, watching movies and hanging out at my house... sniff. i'm serious...
... once in this lifetime
wed
not much of a grand day, went to work, had beef quesdilla for lunch, drank chocolate milk from a can. oh, i had chicken caesar salad for lunch too. work all day. one highlight, got a phone call for an interview tomorrow. was excited. called him to ask if he might want to go with me. he will go. went home. talked with him. he is not feeling very well. hopefully he can still make it tomorrow. stayed not too long on the phone since both of us are still tired from yesterday. oh my... hmm. there goes my day. hail blogster!... once in this lifetime
tuesday!
tuesday!
oh tuesday! :) hold on tight people..
... on the phone, supposedly talking to each other, we both fell asleep. 7 hours later, around 8, he woke up, he tried to wake me up, i woke up, i fell asleep again, he woke me up, i begged to sleep again. we know we got to move, got my lazy self up, got dressed and got ready. was there to pick him up, i got there a little before 830. not bad ey? picked him up, he drove my car the whole time because again - my lazy, sleepy, tired, beaten up self can't drive - well, that is, this morning. we needed some food because we knew we are in for some waiting while my car will be serviced. grabbed breakfast at mcdo. surprisingly, we got the same exact thing, i wonder why..? oh he told me why. finished breakfast. then the long drive started. it was fun, listened to nice sounds. he kept telling me it's ok if i sleep on our way. i wasn't fighting it even if my eyes were watery. [that's me..] he kept teasing me. we were both yawning - alternately. we both had that feeling that you are tired and sleepy, but for some odd reason, you just cant sleep. anyway, moving on, after we got the car in for servicing, we walked around the stock yard. soon enough, the cars on the other side of the road caught our eyes. oh my.. then there was a jewel there! again, we had to cross the road.
nice blue shade, sexy curves, nice ride.. there was a bmw. the car was.. fabulous. i mean, i could have been driving a bmw now could have i stayed home because my dad promised me that i'll have his after graduation. then again, i find myself here in jax, thinking about the supposed bmw, and staring at that pre-owned. i dont know. i really like it. i'll see if i can work things out with my parents. then if for any reason, we cant get it now, i will get myself my own one day. it's not impossible, so it's workable. [we know that baby, right?] and oh by the way, he's got some expensive taste too. he fancied the acura tl. bet it looks good with him driving it. oh, i forgot to mention, we test drove the bmw. we took turns. it was nice. he liked the drive and handling. i found it a little heavy [i mean he's a guy, and taller and bigger compared to me, ehem] but it's a bmw. anyway, he fancied the acura really. he'll get it one day. [go baby!] so, we went back to the toyota side, waited for my car. it's done. i paid. we left.
regency, walked around. checked several stores. i appreciate it that we both like looking around. and dont worry, we will find that coat - usher style! i'm excited to see it on you when we find one. then we went to see the puppies. oh the puppies! very adorable. i miss coffee, she's my automatic princess. i was happy to see the puppies. very thoughtful of him really that we passed by there. now it reminds me why, there was this night that we went around the mall [not inside around, as in outside around], obviously at that time of the night, the puppy village was closed. so today, he remembered, and we got to see them. he remembered, now that's special. :)
left regency, ran some errands and went to some other places. then had lunch at wendy's around 230. i made something known. just on time. afterwhich, we went to his house, he needed to change. then, we left for the exchange. i followed his car. he showed me around, nice. smelled perfumes [i love perfumes]. his nose is sensitive and good thing he liked the ones i like too. and also, i had to take note, both of us have been gettting 'signs', a lot of bmws and acuras after that test drive. oh...
i had to let him go, he's got duty. mm, hugs! today was a great day, really.
my eyes are sore, my shoulder is starting to hurt again. my bed is looking for me. my day was special the minute it started up to the last one it had. my head is pounding. still my fingers wanted to continue translating memories into words. thanks for waking up early and driving with me today. oh well, i got you on the phone right now..
a lot of firsts, a lot of which are special. we could have stayed longer, held longer.
... once in this lifetime
surprise
my monday started at around 1 am. read on...
i have been on the computer, updating my life and my head. then came a call from mr. wonderful. by the way he got home na. anyway, asking me how i am doing, if i am busy, sleeping, where i am at the house yada yada.. hmm. then he asked me to peep into my window. tada! he was there. [acknowledging anzel for being so patient and considerate. ] and oh, for lending me one of his slippers so i dont have to stay barefoot. soon enough, he (anzel) had to go inside the car because it was chilly. and when i said chilly, it was chilly chilly. it was nice, really nice. i mean, that was past 1, he managed to drive all the way to my house. he got me, that was a nice one. it was really really a nice surprise. a lotta hugs too, yey! [and something special too] and thinking that i get cold easily [he knows that] but i stood there with him, barefoot, shivering [we were both shivering in the cold]. we stayed there anyway - together...
then eventually he had to leave. a little afterwards, we were on the phone, talking. he was tired, he fell asleep. we take turns, falling asleep while we are on the phone - supposedly talking.
went to be the alila that i am, hmm steady day. my brain working out on reconciling the money records. the suite was all mine for several hours. all the serenity. it nourished my tired ears and sore brain. allowed me to breathe. then back to reality. then soon enough, i was gone out of that suite.
then, we met new friends, oh that is just one friend, because the other one is a friend na a little before pa. anyway, a supposed hi turned into some girl talk and serious bonding. in a snap, we knew what's ahead of us. by the way, 4 girls + champagne + buttery nipple (it's a drink) + reminiscing = girl talk. hmm, he started to miss me so he called [hey baby.. heehee! :) ] then my friends talked to him. you get the picture. so the hi which was supposed to take like 10 mins lasted 4 hours..? ya, around that much. drove fast going home because we knew we are in trouble (my sister and i). and when we got home, yes, we are in trouble.
seeking some refuge, i called him. hmm, i needed to vent it out. we were both tired. talk talk, then ooops, we were sleeping. 7 hours later... you got to read what happened the next day...
... once in this lifetime
ice cream
giving in to eating dove ice cream again as i write now. im having my 3rd one for today and the 4th one just inches away from me. a glassful of water ready. i am saving the last piece having chocolate ice cream covered with dark chocolate ice cream bar and hopefully no one will sneak into the box and pick it from the all the other bars.
while i was hearing mass, i realized i was starving. for breakfast, i had half of a pancake [regular size]. only half because the other half fell on the floor. picked it up and said it is not pure enough for my body to tolerate. my sister ignored and "purposely left" her wendy's burger from last night. i heated it for my supposed lunch. failed to finish it, got no idea where it is now.
by the way,i made it to the assemly. im really happy i was able to bring my lolo, lola and sisters (charlotte and katrice) with me. i was proud to show them. i was proud to show them cfc and i wanted some of the close ones from cfc and sfc to meet half my family too. after that, went feeling the air at st. john's town center. gratified ourselves with several things. my lola took most of the time. i made her try the clothes. with her not-so-strong-anymore legs, i had to stay with her in the fitting room. right there, i realized how much of a lola's girl i still am even at the age of 23. it felt nice. i love my family. but there is something about my lola that has always inspired me. she has always been my protector. she taught me how to pray the rosary at age 5 or 6 and i started leading the rosary at age 7. i always got an A in religion because of her. memorizing the mysteries was never a problem. she taught me the power of prayers. i know how much she prays for me, for us 6. she influenced me a lot. she gets hurt for me even before i get hurt myself. she cries the tears for me even after mine have dried up. i know everytime it comes to me, she is vulnerable, sensitive and sentimental. in my heart, i know she spoiled me. but im not a brat definitely. she loves me well. i wish i can keep her with me forever. as long as i can, i will give her leg and foot massages. it scares me to death when the time comes that i need to let go of her. just imagining it makes me cry. im not sure how i will be able to deal with it. and i guess i got from her the beauty queen genes [she was one too 50 years ago]. i would tease her with that. she will always be beautiful to me - even if she insists otherwise.
after mass, we were heading to tinseltown to grant the cravings of my lolo and lola for chinese food. i got lost [just a little]. i called my hero [hey baby.. :) ]. i found my way. finally had some real food. again, had salmon sushi and so luckily, they have unagi sushi. i was so happy when i saw it. after we have consumed the food each of us got, we got into some conversation about how my lolo and lola came to be. it's a long story and ... it's best if my lolo tells it himself. anyway, talk talk talk. my lolo started talking to me about some scenarios. those got me thinking. oh well... then everyone wanted to go home. this time, the whole route was perfect! got home, ora mismo, everyone was doing dress rehearsal. everyone even my lolo. it was fun. the big room's mirrors suddenly were not enough. it was a show, was fun. i took stolen pics of my lolo and lola while they were talking. things to keep when they leave for home in may. sniff... it was a great day, really really...
lord, i give you my heart, i give you my soul... these words are stuck in my head. played the radio while driving but i was singing those lines. thank you Lord for letting me come to the adoration earlier. you're really nice. :)
i knew the wind was - again, a little chilly but for some reason, i was able to withstand it. not fight it but tolerate it. i felt it blow kisses my way. it was a great day. the sun did not hurt my eyes today, instead kissed my face. the wind liked my skirt by the way.
oh i got to finish my 4th dove ice cream before i realize it's all too much for me now. my shoulder does not hurt anymore. my eyes are better. badly needing a rest day. i need a hug too...
... once in this lifetime
chilly
been thinking again. the sun hurts my eyes while the wind bites my skin. surprisingly, it is pretty cool outside, and my usual self would wear a cardigan, but i guess not today. then again, i might just be fighting the chilly reality that it is really cold.
i fed myself with salmon sushi [as addicted as i am] for lunch alone in a resto. very thoughtful jema called me and kept me company. i told her i was on my own.
resumed to what is supposed to be done, with my eyes still hurting. after a long lonely day in that suite, i tried to make peace with the wind when the sun was getting tired from its long day. at one point it embraced me well, then as the moon continued to govern the sky, i weakened again. i gave in to wearing my cardigan. i was asked what i wanted for dinner. i had to have toasted fries. just that. they laughed at me, but i know you did not back then. i did not care at all. the acid was still running through my veins. i closed my eyes and i thought of you.
now my hair is down, finally free from the ponytail i had all day. my head suddenly feeling light. i so much wanted to sleep but i seem not to be able to. considering that tom will start earlier than usual. had around 4 hours of sleep for today. had to drive my sister and brothers to the airport for the cancun trip. i wish i could have come, they wished too. they are there safe. my ate feeling can't give up calling to check up on them. 7 days of unshackled fun. i guess i will have to drag myself tom. had almost nothing to look forward to today, just almost. this day is not over yet. miracles happen.
my birthday is coming in two months. im giddy. im unsure why my bday is a cheerful thought. i meant, im unsure why i feel this way this early.
it should be a beautiful day tomorrow. im hopeful i can make it tom to the assembly.
it has been quite a while i had my last dream. i remember my dreams vividly. i wonder what the next one is. i never really counted sheeps to get myself to sleep. even at a young age, i busied myself with memories. then reality takes my hand and puts me to sleep. that is how it is for me. i always had something to think of.
few more hours, few more.. i have 5 drafts here. my heart and head have always something to say. this might be a sanctuary in the making. i rest my head down... i'm feeling better now, even without my cardigan on. catch you tom.
remember
hello there.. hmm so this is what blogging is..
my day started really really early again today. think i was on the phone with him since a little past 12 all the way i think until 4? i fell asleep eventually while he stayed on the line until almost five. he said he tried to wake me up, i snoozed off.im glad his friend made his way safe to his house. we had some serious conversation again this time. less holding back. well it actually started yesterday. we know where we are actually heading, it is just a matter of time. he made things very clear. i tried to stay still so as not to miss a word. i was shaking again while he was talking.
he already left. he got there safe. im glad he found time to call me 10 mins after he got there. oh well.. it's funny how busy we both are lately. unlike before, we could have been able to actually see each other everyday. well, after everything settles down, things will be better.
my eyes hurt a bit, i feel they are a little dry. but if this is because of staying up soooo late, it has all been worth it. i would not have it any other way. my shoulder hurts a little, actually the left one. dont know why.had cheesecake and 2 slices of italian bread for dinner. was too lazy to eat the adobo. which reminds me around 3 this morning, suddenly i was hungry. probably because he was hungry and ate cereal several minutes before i got hungry, kaya i became hungry. but you get the picture. he told me to get up and grab myself something, was too lazy again. he said we both took naps within the whole time we were on the phone. which i definitely believe so, he really tried to wake me up, i woke up several times. then not until the last time, i surrendered to slumber. next thing i know, my phone was on the floor, 7:30am. i called him, we talked, he asked if i got his text , told him to take care and all that.
there are many things i would love to put in here so that i can always go back to this time. i used to keep a journal when i was 13, then i got in trouble when my parents found it - and sadly.. they read it. i stopped for some years and started again 2002. stopped again dec 2004. i thought it is a bygone, not until i stumbled into this. another way to write my heart out.
now im here at home, sleepy, with my eyes a little sore, my shoulder bites. i have run out of cheesecake. i have eaten too much dove ice cream. you're so far. come home soon. i miss my wonderful. i'll always remember the words you left me...
j
today is another lovelyday.. my day started really really early.
well, for another time i was actually able to prove to myself the power of choice. something extraordinary has just happened and it is something worth celebrating. just as i have mentioned, He does hear me. well, in a nutshell, we were able to talk things over. unknowingly going through the same thing at the same time. discovered a lot of coincidences. and i would have to agree nice ones. i am also glad for the conversation. sure learnt a lot - way a lot. i guess this is another moment that was worth living in slow motion. it is like you just want to go through it over and over and over again. the whole time i didn't know i was in for a nice big surprise. unexpectedly, situation brought us to gain up the courage to actually talk it over. i was shaking. hmm word... it has always been worderful.. he was always always been wonderful.
i gave him a gift, the moment i saw it i knew i had to get it for him. another blessing right there. i was good at it. and im glad he liked it. it was a keeper i knew he needed it. dont lose it pls.
well, i guess this whole blog thing is a keeper too baby. i'll talk to you later.
im not paticularly sure who gets to read this blog of mine. having this one is actually challenging since i am a private person. then again, it is too good to keep it all to myself. :)
1
Let this be the start of a beautiful chapter of my life...
April 8-10, I was able to attend the CLP. At one point I thought I would not be able to attend it since my family came here from Manila for vacation and with all the other reasons that might have caused me to miss it. I believe I am very blessed because He made a way for me to be there. It has been a wonderful experience. I am glad that He gave me the eyes to see His creation, ears to hear His Word, hands to touch others and the ability to share my insights through speech. I have not only found new friends, but truly brothers and sisters celebrating God's love.
It is 1:53 as I write now. Cant sleep, been thinking too much again. I say a prayer for a person very special to me. Lord Jesus.. help us through this. Keep us together. Whatever this is, however this should be, help me understand. I trust you with all my heart. I love you Jesus...
reason
writing my heart out.. im still waiting for enough reason. reason, reasons make us feel, make us understand, make us see,make us cry,make us smile.. there is always a reason. but then, when you love, you do not need a reason to do so. you surrender then suddenly you have all these reasons not to let go. you have reasons to hold on.
i did not expect this. i dont even know what i am waiting for. i want to hold on to our moment. because i am too scared to lose it, it is special for me. i do not care if this is just another thing. reason.. what reason, i do not even know. are you lost in my head, with the words i use. the words not keeping up with what i meant to say.
i will wait for the sunrise so i can tell you how it was. i will wait for the sunrise.
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still here.. almost 3 in the morning. waiting for a miracle.
miracles happen. oftentimes, He hears the littlest of my prayers. Thank you for loving me so much. Again, I seem not able to take off from my mind moments i held my breath.
I am waiting for enough reason...
